


The KISS Principle

by Eirenei



Series: Scrapbook Jewels [13]
Category: Eyeshield 21, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-16
Updated: 2012-10-16
Packaged: 2017-11-16 10:57:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eirenei/pseuds/Eirenei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>- Or how is life being bat-shit insane when you have two boyfriends that are determined to drive you crazy before your thirtieth birthday. No, scratch that. You want to live to see the next day, much less your twenty-fourth birthday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The KISS Principle

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Eyesheld 21. I own this story, though.
> 
> Shout Out: This is shorter than usual, but because the plot bunny bit me, I had to write it out. Although I love Sena, I adore Hiruma, and Clifford is just too much of a temptation not to poke fun – shaped holes at him. As for other stories, all in due time.
> 
> Warning: SLASH – this time, it's Clifford/Harry/Hiruma. You think it's crazy – you ain't seen nothin' yet. Cursing, maiming the timelines and a general chaos. And oh yeah, blame the ferret game... and misplaced French kisses. Don't ask me – read it.

* * *

Life, for one Harry James Potter could be described in a short acronym, called SNAFU – **S** ituation **N** ormal, **A** ll **F** ucked **U** p. If you saw Harry Potter, you would've thought him to be kind and on a little shy side, but otherwise, overwhelmingly normal. However, the said teen, now young man, was as far from normal as humankind was from inventing the warp drive. Meaning, very, _very_ far away.

Because he was a wizard. You know, brooms, wands, potions and all that rot. And not only that, he was a famous wizard – just because he managed to kill Voldemort. Don not let the rumours about his eligibility deceive you; or else you will find yourself in a world of hurt….

Unknown to the majority of the Wizarding World, their darling hero was off the market rather permanently. The names of his new owners – ahem, _lovers,_ were relatively unknown to them, but if you asked Muggleborns, Harry's two boyfriends were rather… famous. Or _in_ famous, in any case.

Their names were… Clifford D. Lewis and Hiruma Youichi. They were more known for their nicknames - _Invincible Gambler_ and _Hell Commander._ Both of the blondes were fierce rivals on the battlefield ever since that fateful match of Pentagram versus Team Japan. Both of them were feared for their intelligence and unnerving ability to bluff their way to victory. In fact, they were likened to ice and fire – Clifford with his crazy idiot approach and similar mentality, and Hiruma with his _'Kill'em all'_ (metaphorically speaking!) one. Those two were so alike it was terrifying, and many football experts were wondering, if the two of them would play on the same team, just what kind of monster would have at least 0'001 percent of chance to get one over them. Not win – winning would be impossible anyway, but winning some points wasn't quite a pipe dream. At least not a farfetched one, at any rate.

So far, only one person knew for sure.

And yeah, you guessed it, that person was Harry Potter.

* * *

Hiruma was happily minding his own business – i.e. terrorising the unsuspecting team, when a man stormed to him.

"CLIFFORD DIONYSIUS LEWIS!" The enraged roar rooted Hiruma to the spot. "What the _fuck_ do you think you are _doing!"_

* * *

Hiruma gaped. "Hey! I ain't - !" He tried to protest, but the man yanked his head down. And Hiruma received his hottest – not to mention first French kiss to date. Jade green eyes bugged out with surprise – but even before he could collect his wits about himself, the kiss had ended, and his left cheek was stinging with the force of the delivered slap.

"What the hell, man?" Hiruma bellowed out, bewildered. He was so stunned he didn't even think about drawing out one of his little toys from his hammer space. "What the fuck did I do to you?"

* * *

"I could ask the same, " A cultured voice spoke up behind the back of Hiruma's assailant. The petite man whirled around, ready willing and able to loose his tirade on the next unsuspecting soul.

Green eyes widening, the man gaped at the stern, Malfoy-esque visage of the Invincible Gambler. "I was under the impression you don't French-kiss on the first date," Clifford addressed the still gaping Hiruma.

* * *

The green-eyed man was at loss. He eyed both blonds – "But – Draco told me to wait for you, you weren't here – "

Hiruma had to smirk at the spluttering man. With his vivid green eyes behind silver-rimmed glasses and messy shoulder-length black hair and a flustered blush on his cheeks, the assailant was surprisingly cute.

Clifford blinked. Draco? He only knew about one of his cousins with that stupid name. "Do you mean Draconius Argens Malfoy?" He asked slowly, dread settling in his bones.

Harry nodded. "Well, yeah. I didn't know about his whole name – but he's Draco Malfoy, yeah."

This time, Clifford did pale. "Aw, shit. What did my idiot of a cousin do _now_?" He groaned out, defeated.

* * *

Green eyes flashing, the petite man stood nose to nose with Clifford, even if he had to step on his tippy toes to do so. "Your _idiot_ of a _cousin,"_ He growled out," Had a _very_ funny idea of sending me to drag your sorry arse back home, and he didn't give me the description, or, Merlin forbid, a _photo_ of your stupid face, only this _'Look for a Malfoy'_ tidbit. Meaning, search for pointy-faced, rude and bleached. Do you understand my dilemma now, or do I have to spell it out for you?" He snarled out, embarrassed.

Hiruma howled with laughter at the description. It suited Clifford to a T – "Wait, why did you kiss and slap me, then?" He managed to choke out, mirth still clinging to his voice.

* * *

The petite man growled, embarrassed. "Thanks for reminding me," He spat out, before yanking the unsuspecting Clifford down to French – smooch him, and a moment later, Clifford sported the same red handprint on his left cheek, as Hiruma did.

Dazed, Clifford he was yanked behind the little spitfire. Hiruma was now choking with surprise.

* * *

"I think I am traumatised for life," The devilish blond said. Clifford scowled. "Do you think I _wanted_ to exchange germs with you?" He addressed Hiruma grumpily.

Both of them yelped with surprise as the man head-slapped them.

"The things I do for the ferret," The green-eyed man grumbled under his breath.

* * *

And thus, Harry Potter met the terrible duo, Hiruma found a  new challenge, and Clifford got Hiruma's germs, via the French kiss Harry bestowed upon him.

The games had just begun...

_**/To Be Continued/** _

 


End file.
